Conquering Fear

Written By: Veronica Felizardo MSW, RSW, Doctor in Counselling & Psychotherapy (Cand.), Registered Social Worker & Psychotherapist

Think of fear as a scary enemy and conquering it will improve your overall well-being. Fear is probably one of the toughest emotions because it has a great effect on your mind and body. Fear and anxiety are closely linked. Anxiety related to a fear usually has the notion that something in the future is going to go wrong.

Truth be told, fear can have some benefits, in that it can allow us to avoid danger and help us make good decisions. This is a helpful kind of fear. If you find yourself with the unhelpful kind – the fear that blocks you from clear thinking and drives you to avoid situations – I hope this will be a helpful article for you.

When I was a child, I feared fires (probably because I lost a home due to a fire). I still have a fear of spiders, but this is getting better. I also feared dying unexpectedly, but I’m well on my way to overcoming this. In any case, it never really became debilitating. I frequently used the strategies I’m about to share with you to overcome the fear.

The good thing to remember is that fear and anxiety can last a short time and can pass, but can also last longer and you can get stuck in this feeling.

Here are some strategies you can use if you find your fears affecting your life in unhealthy ways:

1) Face your fear if you can, in small doses

If you find yourself missing opportunities because of your fear, try and test out your fear in a safe environment. For example, if you fear social outings with a lot of people or public speaking, you can try attending a group with a topic you’re interested in (like a book club).

2) Reflect on your fears

It can be difficult at times to pinpoint your fear. By keeping a thought log and jotting down when it happens, you’ll be able to be more prepared for it. You can also make note of things that are helpful to you when you are facing fear (e.g. breathing, visualization, etc.)

3) Healthy eating, exercise and sleep

Yep, the three things we know are critical for mental wellness can help you manage anxiety and fears. When you have too much sugar, the dips in your blood sugar can cause anxious feelings. Having a nutritious diet will help, as will increasing your exercise, which can take your mind off your fears.

4) Use your imagination

The great thing about imagination (or visualization) is that it’s limitless and always available to you. Next time you are feeling fearful, imagine a situation where you are typically fearful. Now imagine you are relaxed and able to overcome the fear. The peace you are imagining can help you get through the actual fearful situation more peacefully.

5) The power of breathing

Another aspect of yourself that you have with you no matter where you go is your breath. Anxiety usually causes you to take short, quick breaths. The best way to control this is to learn to take deep breaths. Focus on your breathing the next time you’re fearful. Take a breath in and hold for five counts, and then slowly let it out for a count of 6. Deep breathing and making sure your exhale is longer than your inhale, forces your body to physically calm itself.

6) Use Your Brain in a Different Way

Your fear and anxiety uses a part of your brain where the emotion overcomes your ability to reason. If you’ve ever been to a hospital, you’ve likely been asked to rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10. Do the same thing with your fear and anxiety: 1 being perfectly peaceful and 10 being the very worse type of anxiety. Analyze your rating. For example, if you rate your fear as an 8, how could you lower it by one or two levels.

7) Practice Mindfulness

You’ve probably heard of mindfulness but may be unsure how it can help overcome fears. As I mentioned in step two above, awareness brings more control over your ability to cope with the fear. When you recognize that your fear symptoms are rising, stop and think about what is happening. If you have a piece of paper or your phone, you can jot it down; otherwise, just take mental note of it. Don’t attempt to do anything but sit with the moment and your awareness and watch it continue. Being passive in this way raises your awareness and will prevent you from doing the things you typically do when you face fear.

8) Nature

Being out in nature naturally reduces symptoms of fear and anxiety. It naturally reduces stress and can change your mood. Plus, when you’re walking outdoors, you use your brain differently, which naturally can activate the switch from an irrational thought to a clear, helpful thought.

What are some things that make you feel nervous or scared?
How does your fear feel in your body?
What can you do to feel better next time you are afraid?

Fear doesn’t have to be as scary as it pretends to be. Take the power away from fear by trying one of the above eight strategies.